By Susan Liddy

If you're like most of us, you probably have a fairly continuous "voice" that speaks to you internally throughout your day. Life coaches, motivational speakers and psychology experts refer to this inner dialogue as "Self talk."

Self talk can be positive or negative. Unfortunately for many people, most of our inner commentary tends toward the negative. Why is this?

Part of the reason may be false self-perceptions that we developed over time. Maybe at some point, someone told you "It's no use," "Don't even bother," "You'll never be good at (fill in the blank)," or some other discouraging mantra. And maybe that wasn't true about you, but you believed it anyway.

Or, maybe nobody actually said negative things about you, but they didn't really say anything positive. Remarks that would reaffirm your self-worth - help you believe in your own capabilities. And now, years later, that same little doubting voice inside of you still pipes up and keeps you from pursuing what you really want to do and be.

An interesting thing about negative self talk is a big chunk of it is disempowering questions we habitually ask ourself. Want to know something else interesting about self talk? We have the power to change the disempowering questions and other messages that we've been sending all these years.

Consider the many negative questions you ask yourself every day. Questions like:

• Why did I do that?
• What’s wrong with me?
• Why do I bother?
• What’s the use?
• When am I going to get it?

With all of these negative questions swirling around our heads, it’s no wonder we get stuck in confusion and feeling bad about ourselves. You see, when you ask yourself a negative question you’re likely to give yourself a self-critical answer. In response to "Why did I say that," your inner critic may respond "because you’re stupid".

"When am I going to get it" may get a response like "you may as well give up and accept that you’re going to be unhappy always."

Imagine if you could change that self-talk, from fearfulness and hesitation, to a voice of encouragement and empowerment. What effect do you think empowering language could have on your life?

I challenge you to log your internal questions and your responses to them for 36 hours. Then go back and notice the disempowering ones. You’ll recognize them because they are the ones that beat you up and keep you small. It's your mission to turn the negatives into positives. That means believing in yourself!

Try it now. Change:

• "Why did I do that" to "What’s a better way?"
• "What’s wrong with me" to "How can I grow?"
• "Why do I bother" to "What am I willing to contribute?"
• "What’s the use" to "Why is this important to me?"

With practice (and forgiveness for the times when you slip up!) you'll learn how to change these self-defeating questions to empowering ones that uplift and move you forward.

Aspire Fearlessly!

About the Author:

Susan Liddy, MA is a Life Coach and founder of Aspire Life Coaching™. Susan facilitates personal growth in women who have poor self esteem, negative body image and unhealthy relationships. Common to most of Susan’s clients is having the general feeling that “something is missing in their lives” with fear being the root cause. Susan’s programs and seminars teach women how to manage fear and create a healthy lifestyle through self care, fulfillment and healthy relationships.

©2007 Susan Liddy, AspireLifeCoaching.org, All rights reserved.

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