By Susan Liddy

Does money buy happiness? It's a question that sparks much discussion and debate. Who hasn't felt the initial rush of an impulse purchase... trying that new skirt on in front of the mirror... proudly displaying that beautiful new table by the front door of your home. Sometimes it really feels like spending our money on material items is all we need to feel good.

But have you noticed? It doesn't take long before those prized possessions lose their luster. We get comfortable with our things to the point we barely notice let alone appreciate them. We acclimate, and before long, we're craving that short burst of good feelings again... and we want more.

For millions of people, spending is a vicious cycle of addiction.

Every person experiences buyer's remorse at some point over the course of their life. Think about the last time you took a long, hard look at everything in your closet. What did you see? Clothes with the price tag still on? "Never worn" blouses? That trendy outfit (now outdated) that "seemed so perfect at the time?"

And let's not forget the nagging sense of debt. Overdue credit card bills and outstanding balances... the overwhelm and stress of getting bills paid on time!

We tend to forget about these emotions when we are in the moment of the impulsive purchase. We associate happiness with owning nice things -- yet ultimately, spending beyond our means actually results in a lot of discomfort or pain.

The emotion most commonly associated with money isn't happiness. It's fear.

Fear of getting enough, fear of not saving it, fear of spending too much of it, fear of it going away.

So, what if it's the other way around? What if happiness buys money?

Think about this: people with a high self esteem and general satisfaction with life tend to be more financially prosperous. Why? The Law of Attraction states that when we can embrace the abundance we've already created, we attract even more abundance. And that starts with having an appreciation - gratitude - for the good things you already own.

Consider that your spending habits today are a reflection of your relationship with yourself and your life. Therein lies the risk of changing them.

When you stop using money to feel good about yourself and your life, you'll be left with the feelings that spending once masked. Let's say that you are often by yourself, and you feel lonely... so you go shopping to try and take your mind off having no one to talk to.

(What happens when you quit the shopping habit? You're left dealing with the loneliness, aren't you?)

Would it be so bad to find healthier ways to feel more connected to others? Take a class in something that interests you, like cooking, crafting, painting. Do something you're talented at, like singing in an organized group. These are wonderful ways to make new friends while nurturing your inner spirit. Imagine what it would be like to feel better about yourself without making poor choices like spending money that you don't have, on things you don't need.

When you really take a good look at yourself, do the work to discover yourself, and align your life with who you are and your values, you CAN find that place of happiness.

Then, doesn't everything get a little easier?

Reality Check

What’s your relationship with money? Take the quiz from Aspire Life Coaching and find out!

1. At the end of the day I can't tell you what I've spent money on or how much. Y N
2. Walking into a mall assuredly means walking out with something I may not need. Y N
3. I get a rush when I'm going to buy something but then feel badly afterwards. Y N
4. I compare myself to what others have and try to keep up. Y N
5. I often feel that my money manages me instead of the other way around. Y N
6. I often make impulsive purchases. Y N
7. When I buy things, I sometimes consider what people will think of me. Y N
8. I buy things telling myself that I can return them later. Y N
9. I hide my purchases from others. Y N
10. I feel out of control when it comes to money. Y N

Did you find yourself answering "yes" to five or more of the above questions? If so, you may need to reevaluate your relationship with money - how much you need to survive, support yourself and family... how much you can comfortably put aside for savings... how much is left over for occasional splurges.

Fearless Integration

End Impulsive Spending:

In the moment of impulsive spending, remember that the purchase may not equal pleasure - it may actually increase pain!

Ask yourself three questions to determine the pleasure/pain factor:

1. Why do I want this?
2. Can I afford this?
3. What are the repercussions of this purchase?

If you really don't need it, cannot afford it, but still have that strong urge to buy it, implement the 24 hour rule. Walk away from the purchase for 24 hours, realizing that you can always go back. Give yourself a full day to gauge the degree to which you need the item.

If that item is burning a hole in your gut, and you absolutely MUST HAVE IT, reconsider your choice not to purchase it. (You may then shop for discounts, other brands to make a conscious and empowered purchasing choice.)

More often than not within that 24 hours, you will determine that you don't need it after all!

The more often you walk away, the more confidence you will create in yourself. And, walking away will leave you with opportunities to address the unmet needs or challenging feelings that you may be attempting to mask through spending money.

About the Author:

Susan Liddy, MA, PCC, CPCC is the founder of AspireLifeCoaching.org, a women's coaching organization whose mission is to empower women to aspire fearlessly. Susan's unique and groundbreaking life coaching programs teach women how to break through the fear and disempowerment that block them from who they are and accomplishing their goals.

To learn more about Susan Liddy and AspireLifeCoaching.org visit AspireLifeCoaching.org or call (408) 835-9908.

©2008 Susan Liddy, AspireLifeCoaching.org, All rights reserved.

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